(Courtesy of Simma Leibman; other sources as noted)

A member of Parliament to Disraeli: “Sir, you will either die on the gallows or of some unspeakable disease.”
“That depends, Sir, said Disraeli, ‘whether I embrace your policies or your mistress.”

“Thank you for sending me a copy of your book;
I’ll waste no time reading it.” –Moses Hadas

“A lie only runs until it is taken over by the truth”
–Gus, the diner owner in the movie “A Dash of Love”

“Figure out what you want and know how to ask for it.”
–Marriage counselor in the movie “How do you know”

“These are my principles. If you don’t like them, I have others.”
–Groucho Marx (Joel Goldstein)

“Sincerity is the key to success. Once you can fake that, you’ve got it made.”
–Groucho Marx (E.J. Dionne)

“I travel to countries where duck is a verb and a noun.”
–From the movie “RED – Retired and Extremely Dangerous” (John Rendon)